


The Fall of Icarus

by fishpun



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Awkward first time sex, Fluffy Porn, Hidekane Week, M/M, honestly this fic is just super self-indulgent and i'm not even sorry, the best kind
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-14
Updated: 2015-08-14
Packaged: 2018-04-14 15:15:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4569300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fishpun/pseuds/fishpun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"He distantly remembers something about Greek mythology: about flying too close to the sun and having your wings burn as punishment. He looks back down at Hide and thinks it’s a small price to pay." </p>
<p>-- in which what should have been a normal friday night ends up being ruined when a storm knocks the power out, and their friendship changes forever.</p>
<p>for day 1 of hidekane week! prompt: "hanging out"</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Fall of Icarus

**Author's Note:**

> man, i don't even know where to begin... first of all, i guess i'd like to thank hidekane week over at tumblr for inspiring me! it may not seem like a big deal, but this is the first time i've written fanfic in about... 3-4 years? wow... my confidence got shot to pieces a long time ago, but i recently fell back into tg *super* hard and i could no longer ignore the pile of ideas building up in my head. i'm super grateful that a simple prompt could break me out of my funk!
> 
> so yeah anyway this entry is 4 days late, because what i thought would be a 2-3k fic ended up growing... and growing... now we have this monstrosity. whoops! hope y'all like slow-burn fic. ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

A small sigh of relief escapes Kaneki’s lips as his professor dismisses the class for the week. The room is clammy; unseasonably warm as the other students hurriedly pack their things and shoot out of the lecture hall, chatting with friends about weekend plans and how they couldn’t wait to rush home and sit in front of their AC for the rest of the evening.

Kaneki packs his own things away slowly, carefully, as he always does. He likes to keep his things in good order, and besides, lagging behind for a few minutes allows him to escape the worst of the on-foot traffic. When he does get up to leave, he realizes that he’s alone. It doesn’t stir any particular emotion within him other than a mild sense of relief; after all, he prefers it this way. Though he gets along with his classmates just fine, and is on friendly enough terms with many of them, he's always left feeling flustered and awkward at their unrelenting attempts to truly befriend him. He’s not entirely sure why they even bother... maybe they feel sorry for him?

The thought stirs some irritation within him. It’s not that he’s anti-social. Most definitely he is reserved and stubbornly private, but more importantly he already has a small group of friends whom he cares about dearly, and that is enough for him. Between them and the company of his books, he scarcely feels lonely. Especially when his dearest friend occupies much of his free time; it's hard to even consider feeling lonely when he's around.

Hide and Kaneki’s history spans back further than a decade, and their friendship hasn’t wavered once in all that time. (Well, besides the time Hide got his first g— No, Kaneki doesn’t want to think about that right now. It’ll only sour his mood yet again if he allows himself to dwell on it.) Hide has always been there for him, through thick and thin: sometimes, Kaneki worries, to his own detriment.

With Hide dancing through his thoughts, Kaneki wanders through the emptying halls of Kamii, wondering what his friend’s plans are for the weekend… if any. He can’t help but ponder how Hide never really seems to have a busy schedule despite his popularity, outside of his studying (and the occasional girlfriend…). He's eternally grateful, though, that Hide always makes time for him when he can. He really doesn't know what makes him deserving of having such a dedicated friend.

Well, in any case, Kaneki’s own schedule is blissfully empty. Having hit a spot in the school year where he has a relatively low workload, he can afford to spend his weekend in the laziest manner possible if he so wishes. It’s been a few weeks since he’s been able to hang out with Hide though, with their varying workloads providing them with clashing schedules and preventing them from hanging out.

Kaneki misses him.

As he exists the building, deep in thought, his body relaxes as the fresh air makes contact with his balmy skin. Despite the refreshing breeze, however, being in direct sunlight amplifies the heat and Kaneki curses to himself for his dark wardrobe choices. It really hadn’t looked too great outside as he left for his classes earlier in the day, and he hadn’t thought to check the weather forecast; he had simply assumed that Tokyo was in for another dreary day of rain with it still being early springtime.

Kaneki glares downward for a moment, feeling the umbrella sitting inside his bag like a dead weight.

He clicks his tongue disapprovingly and manoeuvres through the web of people passing around him, stepping aside as he sets his bag down before tugging his sweater off. Half way through what should have been a straight-forward process, he hears someone call out his name, and he fumbles for a moment. The sweater catches at an awkward angle and Kaneki struggles with the offending, constricting material, cursing again as he makes a fool out of himself in front of everyone.

This entire furore provides ample time for Hide to run up to Kaneki and start tickling his sides. He flounders like a fish out of water and knocks both of them off their feet, earning the pair confused stares and whispers from other students.

“Hide!” Kaneki chides, with irritation and embarrassment lacing his words. He sits up and gives the sweater a final tug, sighing in relief when it comes free. “Why can’t you ever greet me normally…?” He trails off, the anger already seeping from his body and his words. He’s rarely able to stay mad at Hide for long, and annoyingly, he knows that Hide knows this, too.

“Kaneki…!” Hide returns mockingly, mirroring his friend’s affronted tone of voice. He reaches out and pokes the other’s cheek playfully. “No grouchiness, ok? It’s the weekend, and I have no work to do, so I can totally bum out! Yahoo!” Hide smiles a wide, toothy grin and flings his arms out wide in celebration.

Kaneki sighs. “That’s not something you should announce so proudly, you know…” he says, looking around and catching a few disdainful glares from the faculty and some of the harder-working students.

Hide blows out a breath before jumping to his feet and offering a hand out to Kaneki with a smile. “Yeah, well, whatever. I’m my own boss; I can do what I want!”

Kaneki feels strange and alien when he grabs hold of Hide’s hand; he always does. He knows now that it’s best not hesitate with this kind of thing any more, though, because Hide is very perceptive at the most inconvenient of times and more than once he has interrogated Kaneki at suddenly being weirded out by his touchy-feely-ness.

“Uh, earth to Ken? Are you even listening to me?! Come on, bro! Do you have weekend plans or not?!”

The use of his first name has him snapping his attention right back to Hide, but he quickly looks away. He’s embarrassed to have lost focus so blatantly in front of his best friend, but also he feels that same strange and alien sensation tugging deep inside of him at the use of his first name.

Hide has recently developed the habit of randomly using Kaneki’s first name, and he’s not sure how to broach the subject, especially as he has no idea what started it in the first place. He realizes that Hide is just being even friendlier than usual, but in the back of his mind Kaneki can't shake the connotation of intimacy that follows it.

He guesses that Hide can feel the awkward atmosphere, as he scratches his face and looks away. Kaneki stares at Hide from the corner of his eye for a few moments before realizing that he has yet to reply.

“Oh! Ah, yes. Plans—I mean, no! No, I don’t have any,” Kaneki mumbles hurriedly, his words clamouring over one another to escape his mouth. “…Why? Did you want to do something?”

They’re walking along, and it takes Kaneki a moment to realize why that is out of place – Hide lives in the opposite direction.

Hide smiles somewhat bashfully and before he can say anything, Kaneki pips him to the post, allowing a knowing smile to spread across his own face.

“I suppose you want to come to my place?” He guesses. He looks away for a moment, realizing how suggestive he had managed to phrase the question. Before he can linger on the embarrassment however, a thought crashes into him, and with much gratefulness he is able to change the subject. “Ah!” Kaneki begins, sounding somewhat apologetic, “We’ll have to head to the supermarket first.”

Hide gives him a curious look. “Hey, you don’t have to cook anything fancy, Kaneki…”

“No, it’s not that…” Kaneki can feel his body temperature rise again, and he only hopes that he isn’t flushing too obviously. “There’s… not much food at all there, not for the both of us, anyway. I’ve been meaning to buy groceries, but I’ve been busy lately…”

Kaneki cups his chin on instinct, a nervous habit of his. Well, it’s not as if it's a complete lie: he really has been busy, and food has been the last thing on his mind. But in particular, rent happens to eat up a large portion of his budget, so he can’t afford to buy himself the kind of food he knows he should be eating to stay healthy. Fast food and noodles are about the most he can stretch to on most days. He feels far too embarrassed to admit any this to Hide, though.

Hide nods his understanding, and nudges Kaneki’s side good-naturedly.

“In that case, I say we totally pig out and binge-watch something trashy. Eh? Eh?” Hide wiggles his eyebrows for emphasis.

Kaneki resists the urge to let his shoulders slump. It sounds like a great plan… but it also sounds like a costly one. The least he can do is try and make Hide happy, though, so he goes along with it. When they arrive at the supermarket, Kaneki spends the whole time biting down the knot of anxiety in his stomach as Hide loads their cart full of chips, soda, sweets, and of course some hamburger steak. He manages to cramp some of his weekly essentials into the cart around all the junk food, and he drifts around the place only half-heartedly keeping up conversation with Hide as he tries to calculate the cost of everything in his mind before they reach the cashier.

When the time comes to pay, Kaneki is bewildered when Hide pushes him aside and pays for the whole lot himself.

“Hide!” Kaneki protests, but is quickly muted as the cashier gives the pair a strange look. He decides to let Hide pay in peace, at least until they leave the store.

“Oh, relax, Kaneki,” Hide drawls dismissively as they leave. “This was all my idea, and you’re being gracious enough to host me, so it’s the least I can do, right?” To punctuate his point he offers his friend a wide grin and slaps him on the shoulder.

“At least let me carry some of the bags…” Kaneki offers meekly. He feels terrible, and wonders if Hide had somehow managed to decipher his behaviour inside and successfully chalked it up to money woes. God, he hopes not – the last thing he needs is Hide’s pity.

Kaneki motions to grab some bags, but Hide pulls away with a smirk. Kaneki sighs, and relieves the feeling that he should be doing something with his hands by stuffing them into his pockets. This proves to be a fatal mistake when he unexpectedly feelings something drip onto his face. He blinks in surprise before turning to Hide. A moment later, he feels it again. Kaneki looks towards the sky and catches sight of the enclosing clouds just before the heavens break loose.

“Shit!” Kaneki fumbles with his bag, furiously fishing through it as he searches for his umbrella. He finds it in record time and has it spread out across the both of them in a manner of seconds. Unfortunately, they’re both already near enough soaked to the bone.

Hide laughs and smiles wistfully. “Sun showers, huh?” He remarks, looking over his shoulder at the sun hanging low in the sky, casting a hazy orange hue over everything in its path. “Man, the weather’s been pretty crazy today, huh?”

Kaneki nods stiffly and murmurs a sound of agreement. He fixes his stare steadily ahead, having realized how the situation has forced them into such close proximity. Hide hasn’t always made him feel this way. When did that change? Kaneki thinks about it often, but he can never quite pinpoint the exact moment. Sometimes, he wonders if it's been this way all along.

Not that he has any idea what ‘this’ is. A strong emotional bond? Like a brother, just not related by blood? Maybe that’s why Kaneki is always so afraid of losing him – Hide is the only family he has left.

Kaneki’s eyes stray towards Hide. It takes him all this time to realize that they’ve been walking in silence. Upon this realization, Kaneki’s gaze focuses in on Hide’s expression, and he’s unsure what to make of it. He too seems to be fixing his gaze at a mysterious point in the distance, with his brow furrowed in concentration. Kaneki startles as he realizes he can sense a strange sense of melancholy exuding from his friend. It’s there in the depth of his eyes; burrowed within the creases of his face. A brief stab of guilt hits him in the gut; he knows that he’s been inattentive lately, and that Hide thrives on interaction. Could this be the cause of Hide's sudden shift in mood?

“So…” Kaneki begins, and he’s grateful that taking the initiative manages to snap Hide out of whatever headspace he's in. “What kind of movie do you have in mind?”

“Huh? Oh! Uh…” Hide looks confused for a moment, but the meaning of Kaneki’s words hit him a moment later. He deliberates for a few seconds before shrugging. “I don’t know… maybe we can just find some junk to watch on TV?” Hide laughs apologetically before looking ahead once more. “I didn’t really think that far ahead, to be honest. I just wanted to hang out with you.”

Hide’s words light a blaze in him, and despite himself Kaneki can’t help the smile that spreads across his face. Hide seems far more relaxed too, for which he is glad. The feeling of warmth that spreads throughout his body remains for the whole journey, which is filled with idle chatter about their studies and the most recent gossip from around campus.

By the time they make it back to Kaneki’s place, the sky has darkened considerably due to the encroaching clouds. The rain doesn’t seem as if it has any intention of letting up either, and the heat has become even more unbearable due to the increase in humidity.

When they stumble inside, Kaneki’s first priority is to change into some dry clothes. He heads for the dresser and falters in his step, remembering Hide.

“Ah…” He begins hesitantly, turning to him. “Hide, my clothes will be a bit of a tight fit on you, but-”

Hide cuts him off with a wave of his hand. “Whatever, man! Anything beats being soaked to the bone or being forced to sit practically naked, right?”

“R-Right,” Kaneki affirms, violently suppressing the images his mind manages to conjure up at Hide’s words. He only hopes that his embarrassment fades from his face before he has to face Hide again in a moment.

He rummages through his clothes and finds a plain white shirt for himself and some shorts, but has to resort to his oversized teal hoodie and a pair of loose-fitting grey jogging bottoms for Hide. He offers both articles of clothing to him with an apologetic expression.

“I don’t think-” Kaneki’s gaze flickers to Hide’s chest for a moment, “I don’t think my shirts would fit you.”

Hide isn’t significantly taller, but he is definitely broader shouldered and probably a little more filled out than himself, too.

Kaneki is understandably alarmed when Hide gives him a swift answer to his hypothetical musings. With a quick ‘No problem, thanks, dude!’ Hide pulls off his sweatshirt and pulls on Kaneki’s hoodie.

Kaneki’s thoughts turn to static as one half of his brain stews in mortification and the other half bemoans his disappointment at the show being over so quickly. His mortification then builds twofold at the second thought, and he turns away abruptly before he can see anything else, or say anything stupid. He stalks across the room, his face burning now, he can feel it, and barks an order for Hide to turn away so that he too can change.

“Eh, what’s rattled your cage, Ken?”

There it is again! Ken. Ken. Ken… The sound of it reverberates in his mind.

Hide’s voice becomes playful. “What, are you overwhelmed by my wicked good looks?” He asks, and Kaneki can hear the smile in his voice, the twinkle in his eyes, but all he can feel is ice crystallising in his chest in panic. He peeks over his shoulder, and he’s relieved to find that Hide has already turned his back. A shred of confidence returns to him – perhaps because he’s not being subjected to Hide’s scrutinizing gaze for the moment – and he offers his own playful retort, albeit with a note of sarcasm.

“You’re right, Hide,” Kaneki deadpans as he changes, “You are just so attractive. If only I didn’t have to share you with the rest of the world.”

The words are out of his mouth before he can properly assess the risks and dangers in his mind. He curses internally, thinking of how the truth is so often revealed through a supposed joke. He sucks in a breath when he realizes Hide has yet to offer a witty retort.

“Yeah, well,” Hide begins, and an invisible weight vanishes from Kaneki’s shoulders. Hide laughs. “It would be cruel to hide such a beauty away.”

Kaneki strides over to his friend and places a warning grip on his shoulder before he can continue his faux-pretentious act. The last thing he needs is for Hide to spend ten minutes waxing lyrical about the deep, chocolatey richness of his own eyes, the welcoming warmth of his brightly dyed hair…

Hide deflates at Kaneki’s touch, and he looks over his shoulder at him.

“Psh, you could’ve told me you were done, instead of letting me stand here like an idiot!”

“Do you know any other way to stand?” Kaneki retorts, laughing quietly behind his hand.

Hide pouts. “That’s cold, Kaneki. Stone cold.”

“Anyway,” he replies, rolling his eyes. “Would you mind helping me put this away? If you do that I can start cooking dinner-”

Hide exhales a large puff of air. “Man, putting me to work when I’m a guest?” He teases, and Kaneki has no time to think up a response before Hide crosses his arms behind his head and heads towards the abandoned bags by the door. Kaneki flicks on the AC, both for himself and for the benefit of Hide, who will probably bake like a potato in that hoodie. Well, he could always take it off but… Kaneki shakes the thoughts away. That would be a little weird.

They work in near silence for a few minutes when a thought suddenly strikes Kaneki; Hide is managing to put everything away without any input, almost as if he lives there himself. Is he really there that often…? He was expecting Hide to need at least a little guidance... Kaneki shrugs the thought away, deciding it isn’t really a big deal. It's something interesting to note, though. He feels sort of guilty in a way, monopolizing all of Hide’s time; he’s sure Hide has plenty of other friends that would like to see him. Maybe it’s because Kaneki doesn’t have many of his own? Maybe if he opened up and reached out to his classmates, Hide wouldn’t have to—

His train of thought is cut short by a bright flash of light. His eyebrows rise in surprise and Hide lets out a noise of surprise beside him. Kaneki turns his gaze to the window just as the menacing sound of thunder claps through the air. By his side, Hide’s hands curl into fists and when Kaneki looks at him, he’s filled with a combination of confusion and concern at the sight. Hide's face is cast downward at the counter top and his lips are pressed together into a tight, tight frown.

“Hide…?”

“Ah!” Hide’s attention snaps back to Kaneki, and any previous hint of anxiety leaves his face as he dons a carefree grin. “Don’t mind me! I’m j-” He’s interrupted by another bolt of lightning illuminating the sky. “J-Just…” Hide continues weakly, his eyes pointedly ignoring the view outside. “Thinking of what’s on TV!”

Kaneki ignores Hide’s blatant lie and instead stares musingly out of the window, cupping his chin in his hand. Do storms make Hide nervous? How did he not know this before now? He isn’t given the luxury of pondering the subject further as another roll of thunder crashes through the atmosphere. Hide jumps and grabs Kaneki’s arm in a vice-like grip as the lights flicker.

Kaneki can’t tell if it’s his imagination or not, but the colour seems to have drained from Hide’s face – from what he can see, anyway, with his friend’s forehead pressed against his forearm.

“I- I hate storms!” Hide finally admits, his words escaping him in an angry burst. A shaky breath escapes his lips as he withdraws from Kaneki’s arm, looking slightly ashamed at showing such uncharacteristic weakness. He glares at Kaneki challengingly. “Don’t make fun of me, ok?”

“I wasn’t-”

“They’re powerful and unpredictable and deadly, okay?!” Hide continues, seemingly having not heard Kaneki’s attempts at reassurance. “I mean, hell,” Hide straightens and brushes his fingers through his hair. “There wasn't any forecasts for storms today, was there? They just come out of nowhere to bite you in the ass!”

“Hide,” Kaneki begins, and puts a silencing pair of hands on his shoulders. He can feel Hide getting worked up; it's unusual for him to be so anxiety-ridden, so he knows that Hide must have a pretty deep and valid fear of thunderstorms. When his friend simmers down and looks into his eyes, he offers him a gentle and what he hopes is a reassuring smile. “There’s no need to get worked up. It’ll pass over soon.”

Hide rubs a hand over his face and laughs. “I know. I’m being stupid. It’s just…”

Kaneki squeezes his shoulder and nods. It’s not as if Hide’s fear is one of the more silly and irrational ones, anyway. Storms really can be deadly.

“Go listen to your music or something. It’ll help drown out the noise, won’t it?” He suggests, and Hide smiles gratefully.

“Thanks, Kaneki.”

Kaneki is taken aback briefly by the intensity in Hide’s eyes and the depth of his words. Then again, he's probably reading too much into it. Hide often teases him for that; how he tries to be as intuitive as him but ultimately fails by coming to a completely ridiculous outcome.

He glances over his shoulder to find that Hide has already settled at the table, or rather on it. He’s bent forward, headphones placed firmly over his ears and his arms bent over his head. Kaneki tries to imagine where Hide’s fear could have manifested from, since it’s unlike him to be afraid of anything. He is rather good at hiding his emotions when he chooses to, though, so Kaneki supposes he can’t really ponder the situation in much detail - for all he knows, Hide could have a dozen fears.

The pans are heated and he moves to put the hamburger steak in to cook when a particularly loud clap of thunder rips through the air, shaking the building and knocking off the lights. Kaneki curses and Hide startles upright.

“Kaneki…! D-Did the power get knocked off?” Hide asks, scrambling to his feet in the dark. Without the whir of the AC, Kaneki can subtly make out some English lyrics blasting out of Hide’s headphones. He’s heading over to the cabinet containing the candles and matches, and Kaneki is once again left wondering just how often Hide hangs out at his place. Not even his home has any secrets kept from Hide, it seems.

It occurs to him rather quickly that Hide’s hands probably aren’t the steadiest at the moment, so he moves over towards him and takes them out of his hands.

“I’ll handle it.”

“Thanks,” Hide says sheepishly.

“Can you put everything back in the fridge? Hopefully the power will be back on before anything can spoil...” Kaneki sighs, remembering the last time this had happened: the power hadn’t returned to his particular building until the following afternoon, despite most of Tokyo being lit up merely hours after the event, and most of his refrigerated and frozen food had been ruined.

“Gotcha!” Hide replies, and Kaneki stifles a laugh as he walks away, imagining him saluting dutifully even in the dark.

He sounds slightly more chipper now, though Kaneki’s not entirely sure why; the storm is still raging on outside and doesn’t appear to be letting up any time soon soon. He shrugs and moves around the place, placing candles in safe areas and setting them alight. Soon enough everything is bathed in a warm glow and he surveys the spaces where dark shadows crawl up the walls. In a way it kind of reminds Kaneki of the both of them – the darkness and the light. His eyes rest on the candle in front of him, the flame dancing languidly, and in a moment of delirium he feels like it almost resembles Hide.

“Hey!” Hide exclaims right next to Kaneki, and he jumps in shock. He almost loses his balance but Hide grabs a hold and steadies him. “What’s got you all pensive, hmm?”

“Ah, it’s nothing important.” Kaneki detangles himself from Hide and looks away.

“Hmm, if you say so…” Hide relents, though he seems to be unconvinced. “Anyway, what the hell are we supposed to do with the power knocked out?! Movie night is a bust!”

Kaneki supresses a smile at Hide’s cute pout. Instead, he busies himself by walking around the room, trying to think of something entertaining. Eventually he sighs in defeat.

“Well, I have plenty of books…” Kaneki offers half-heartedly, knowing it’s useless.

“What! No way, Kaneki! It’s the weekend!” Hide crinkles his nose. “Besides, you’re into all the weird psychological horror stuff. Is that really the kind of stuff you want to subject me to during a crazy scary storm?” As if to illustrate his point, another streak of lightning tears through the pitch black sky, though the accompanying thunder seems a little less aggressive than before. Hide creeps over to Kaneki, his back bent and his arm outstretched at a strange angle. “I’m an axe murderer… and I’ve come to kill you!” He rasps, using his finger to poke Kaneki in several tender spots.

“Ugh, you’re such an ass!” Kaneki complains, swatting his friend’s hand away. Hide only laughs in response.

“We could listen to my music?” Hide offers. “You know English better than me anyway; you can tell me what the lyrics mean!” He seems excited at the prospect.

“Ah…” Kaneki hesitates. “I can try, but I’m not that good at English. Didn’t we usually score pretty evenly in high school…?”

“Whatever,” Hide dismisses with a wave of his hand. “You’re still better at it than me.”

Kaneki sighs, “If you say so.”

Hide returns to his previous spot and Kaneki timidly kneels next to him. Their proximity is even closer than under the umbrella, and he’s kind of glad the lights are knocked out. He knows he wouldn’t hear the end of it if Hide could see his blush.

He can’t tell if it’s due to the humidity, but he can feel his entire face burning, right from the tips of his ears to his neck. No, his whole body feels hot. Briefly, he thinks of the inevitability of burning up when you’re this close to the sun.

Hide scratches his head as he tries to figure out a way for them both to listen through his headphones at the same time.

Kaneki rolls his eyes. “We can just listen through your phone’s speakers, Hide.”

He looks affronted by Kaneki’s suggestion. “I’ll pretend I didn’t hear such blasphemy! Listening through the speakers sucks,” Hide pauses and pouts again. “You won’t appreciate my music collection unless you hear it in crisp, high definition sound!” At this he winks and gives Kaneki a thumb’s up.

“Ok,” he says as he fiddles with the headphones. They look like the fancy, expensive kind, and sure enough Hide flips each headphone so that they’re facing outward. “It’ll be kind of a pain to hold it up constantly, so we can just lay on the table, yeah?”

Kaneki feigns boredom. “Sure.”

They both move into Hide’s previous position, arms bent forward and their foreheads resting against them.

Kaneki’s unsurprised when the first song to blare out is a very upbeat, though retro-sounding song. He can’t be sure, but it definitely seems like an American band. Kaneki isn’t paying much attention to the lyrics until it hits the chorus, instead focusing on the beat of the music. Hide shifts next to him and Kaneki catches a phrase that repeats in the chorus – ‘you’re just my type’, ‘when there’s love in the air…’ Kaneki swallows and swipes a sideways glance at Hide and a jolt runs through his body when he realizes that Hide has turned completely to face Kaneki.

“It… Seems like an upbeat song,” Kaneki remarks lamely. He’s not sure what else to say. This alone seems enough to raise Hide’s spirits.

“I know, right?! It’s such a cool sounding song!”

Kaneki turns away ever so slightly, hoping to conceal his smile. “I don’t get your infatuation with foreign music...”

“Shh, just listen to it!” Hide chides.

‘I can't help myself but stare… double check for double meanings…’

Kaneki quirks an eyebrow. The lyrics sure are… interesting, to say the least.

‘I'm a man who's got very specific taste.’

Well, alright; if Kaneki is to hazard a guess, he supposes Hide likes this song as it reminds him of himself. He never has trouble catching the attention of females, after all. Or anyone's attention, really. His personality is just as bright as his hair and it draws people to him like a moth to a flame.

“Anyway,” Hide says as the song fades out. “I like foreign songs because there’s an air of mystery to it, don’t you think?” Kaneki turns back to him, and faces him fully now, and he can see the passion lighting up Hide’s eyes. “I mean… maybe not so much with English music,” he amends sheepishly. “But it’s a good opportunity to sharpen my skills!”

Kaneki raises a shoulder lazily. “I guess so.”

Hide narrows his eyes at him. “You listen to all that Opera stuff, and you don’t know a lick of Italian or Latin or whatever language they sing in. But you still enjoy it, because you can feel the emotion of the song. It’s the same thing.”

Kaneki appears thoughtful for a few moments. Hide does have a point, but he’s surprised to find him being so defensive about it. He says just as much to him.

“Yeah, well…” Hide glances downward. “No one enjoys their taste in music being bashed, do they?”

“Hey!” Kaneki protests, ready to defend himself. “I’m not bashing anything.” He reaches out and pokes Hide’s arm. “Go on, play another.” Hide reaches out to press play, and a thought strikes Kaneki. “You seem calmer now,” he points out.

Hide lifts his shoulders. “It’s still scary, but it’s not so bad when I’m with you, I guess.”

The next song seems more sombre… bittersweet? Kaneki isn’t sure quite how to describe it. The singer sounds desperate, like he’s reaching out for something. His pronunciation isn’t as clear as the last singer, though, so he has difficulty trying to grasp some of the words.

‘I was biting my tongue… I was trying to hide…’

Half way through he realizes it’s another love song, albeit far more heartfelt and personal than the last one. He throws a curious glance at Hide, wondering if he’s aware of this. He seems oblivious though, smiling gently at Kaneki’s questioning glance, so he figures it’s probably just a coincidence.

The next song begins, and Kaneki’s suspicions arise once more. Is it a coincidence that Hide keeps picking love songs? Maybe his playlist is just shuffling through songs randomly. He doesn’t know.

‘Are your bones burning? Is your skin yearning? Because you’re driving me insane…’

Kaneki decides he quite likes this one. It sounds fun and upbeat, something easy to dance along too. It feels very ‘Hide’.

‘Do you feel the lightening inside of you? Will you follow through if I fall for you?’

Kaneki is unable to hold back his laughter, giving the circumstances. He’s sure the last song compared love to lightning, too.

“What?” Hide demands indignantly.

“I didn’t realize you’d made a habit of listening to such romantic music,” Kaneki teases. “Though I guess I probably should have seen it coming,” he adds after a moment’s pause.

“Hm…? And why's that?” Hide questions, one eyebrow quirked.

Kaneki shrugs, struggling to come to an answer. “I guess… I assumed this whole time you were blaring rock into your ears or something. But I never seem to be right when I make an assumption about you.” Kaneki sits up and runs a hand through his hair abashedly.

Hide seems thoughtful but doesn’t give a reply, and in the silence Kaneki realizes that the lightning and accompanying claps of thunder seem to be few and far between now. The rain is still pouring with intensity, though. Kaneki sighs.

“I’m hungry,” he says, and his stomach rumbles as if to illustrate his point.

Hide gives him a lopsided grin. “Well it’s not exactly the Ritz, but we do have an entire bag of food over there.” He hitches a thumb over his shoulder, and it’s then Kaneki remembers all the junk good Hide had insisted on buying.

They spend a while gorging on chips and sweets and cola, and though Kaneki knows his stomach will protest later, right know he’s glad at being able to treat himself so heartily, thanks to Hide’s generosity. The thought jolts a memory in Kaneki’s mind, and he remembers that he owes Hide cash. He reaches into his pocket and Hide glances at him questioningly until Kaneki pulls out his wallet.

“Hey, put that back!” Hide warns. “I said it was on me, didn’t I?”

“But my groceries-” Kaneki tries to reason, but Hide won’t hear any of it.

“My. Treat.” Hide repeats, punctuating each word. They settle into a silence for a brief period when Hide starts rummaging around.

“Hey, what are you doing?” Kaneki demands, feeling annoyed at Hide for pawing through his books. He was going to ruin the organization!

“Looking for something to fan myself with,” Hide moans, “It’s really hot in here.”

Kaneki rolls his eyes. “Hide, just take my hoodie… off,” he finishes, realizing the outcome of such an action far too late.

“Yeah,” Hide says flatly, probably aware of where Kaneki’s thoughts were leading. “I’m not an idiot, you know.”

“I can give you a t shirt, Hide. It’ll just be a little tight…”

“Ah, screw it!” Hide exclaims, flinging his arms in the air. He pulls the hoodie off in one move and winks suggestively at Kaneki. “I can trust you not to take advantage of little old me, right?”

“R-Right,” Kaneki replies, swallowing nervously. Despite every fibre in his body telling him not to, his gaze racks down Hide’s chest. He feels as if he’s not even in control of his own body; merely a bystander watching in horror as everything happens in slow motion. His eyes linger for a moment too long and he stands abruptly, claiming to need the bathroom. He closes the door behind him and lets out a long, deep sigh. He has no idea what the hell has gotten into him tonight. Maybe the storm has shaken him up more than he cares to admit…

He splashes some cold water onto his face to help calm his nerves. It helps, but not much. Kaneki observes himself in the mirror, as if staring long enough might help decipher his confusing thoughts.

“Hey, are you alright in there?” Hide calls out, and Kaneki realizes he may have been in there for longer than he’d previously thought. He's still trying to work up the nerve to face Hide again. “You’re not sick, are you?” He adds, his voice suddenly acquiring a far more serious tone. Kaneki sighs again before leaving the bathroom. “I’m fine,” he assures him, “The heat is getting to me slightly, I think.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean,” Hide mutters as he falls onto his back. “Maybe we should crack a window open?”

Kaneki nudges him with his foot. “And get all my books wet? I don’t think so.” He crosses his arms and stares down at Hide with a stern look.

“Psh, always so selfish,” Hide complains, turning to flick Kaneki’s ankle. He flips onto his stomach and flails his limbs childishly. “Ken, I’m so bored!”

Kaneki sits down in a dramatic motion, crossing his legs underneath him. It’s bothered him for too long, and he finally thinks it’s the right time to address it.

“Hide… Why do you call me ‘Ken’?” He asks as a nervous energy begins to pool in his stomach.

Hide is silent for a few moments, sending Kaneki’s thoughts into panic overdrive.

“That’s your name, isn’t it?” Hide eventually replies.

Kaneki bites his lip. He had a feeling Hide would try to be evasive about the topic.

“Yes, but…” Kaneki pushes. “You alternate between ‘Ken’ and ‘Kaneki’. No one else refers to me as ‘Ken’, so why the sudden change?”

Another prolonged silence.

Hide laughs, seemingly unsure of himself. Kaneki can’t see his expression with him still laying beside the table.

“It just feels right, I guess? You _are_ my best friend. Is it really that weird? You call me ‘Hide’, don’t you?”

“It’s not the same,” Kaneki points out. “Just about everyone calls you ‘Hide’, formalities aside.”

Hide sits up finally, and he leans forward against the table, giving Kaneki a level and surprisingly intense stare. “Does it really matter that much?”

Kaneki looks away, feeling flustered. “W-Well, no. Not really. But people might…”

“So?”

The intensity behind that lone word knocks the breath out of Kaneki. Hide looks deadly serious, and it renders him speechless.

“I…” He begins, searching for the right words to say, but they won’t come to him.

Hide laughs, but it has a bitter edge to it and it sets Kaneki on edge.

“Can I tell you something?” Hide asks. Kaneki nods, not sure in the slightest where this is leading.

“I’ve never been in a relationship with a girl for very long.” Hide darts a glance at Kaneki before continuing. “I mean, you’re already aware of that, I guess. But do you know why?” He pauses, and it takes Kaneki a few moments to realize that Hide’s expecting a reply.

Kaneki shrugs. “You… get bored?” He guesses, suggesting the first thing that comes to mind. He instantly feels guilty though, for suggesting Hide of all people would treat anyone so poorly.

“Well, you’re not far from the mark,” Hide says as he cups his chin musingly. “But it’s more the opposite – they get bored of me.”

“What?” Kaneki’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “Why?”

He can’t imagine how any girl could be bored with Hide: he’s filled with seemingly endless energy; he has a wide array of hobbies and interests ranging from the mundane to the bizarre; he’s surprisingly thoughtful and dependable…

Ah. Maybe that’s it: he’s too nice. Sometimes girls are – inexplicably, in his opinion – attracted to the ‘bad boy’ type. A role Hide could probably fill if he tried, but then he wouldn’t be himself.

“They all say the same thing: I don’t pay them enough attention.” Hide leans his face on his hand, his gaze fixing onto the wall.

Kaneki splutters. “You can’t be serious. You’re the most attentive person I know!” He argues. “To the point that it’s quite annoying, sometimes,” he adds dryly. Hide ignores the jibe, to Kaneki’s surprise.

“Well, that’s the problem. They all complain that I spend all my time on you.”

Kaneki is shocked into silence. His thoughts are running away from him and Hide turns to him to make direct eye contact. The intensity of it ties Kaneki’s stomach into knots. “After a while, I started to realize that they kind of had a point; pretty much anything I had to say always led back to you, somehow.”

When did Kaneki’s heart start beating so fast?

“Why… are you telling me this?” Kaneki manages to choke out.

Hide lets out a little laugh and ruffles his hair. “I haven’t even got to the important part yet, jeez.” 

“Huh?”

Kaneki has to strain to hear Hide’s words. His ears are filled with the rhythmic pounding of his own heart, and his body feels wired, though he’s not entirely sure why.

Hide hesitates, and his posture deflates. He looks away and rubs his face whilst shaking his head.

“I just… don’t know what I’d do if you didn’t want to be around me anymore,” he says, and Kaneki’s nerves are pushed aside to make way for concern. “I care about you so much…”

“Hide, you’re worrying me,” Kaneki replies, reaching out a hand to touch the other’s arm. “Why wouldn’t I want to be around you?”

“What would you say,” Hide drags out, still refusing to look at him. “If I… if I d-didn’t just like girls?”

Blood rushes to Kaneki’s head and his touch disappears from Hide’s arm. He needs to calm down; he’s probably misinterpreting Hide’s words, somehow.

“Or rather, if I liked... a particular…” Hide swallows visibly. “Guy.” He bites the word out and his jaw sets into a hard line. His posture is still and he still refuses to look at Kaneki.

“Guy?” Kaneki echoes numbly.

It’s not as if being gay – or, in Hide’s case, bisexual – was that uncommon. But he still… Hide? It’s a complete shock to the system. His clouded mind clears enough for him to ask a simple question:

“Who is it?”

Kaneki’s mind switches from a dead halt to running a hundred miles a minute. He can’t help but wonder if it’s someone he knows, or a complete stranger. For some unknown reason, his question sends Hide into hysterics.

“What’s so funny?” Kaneki demands. He’s utterly perplexed by his friend’s behaviour and these turn of events.

“You,” Hide gasps outs between fits of giggles. Eventually he calms down and wipes a few stray tears from his eyes. “For a smart guy, you are so fucking dense, you know that?” Kaneki glowers at him. “Yeah, I’ve heard that said once or twice before.”

Hide completely sobers. “No, but seriously… You have no idea?”

Kaneki drums his fingers on the table impatiently, resting his head in his other hand. “How am I supposed to know? All you’ve talked about so far is your ex-girlfriends and me—”

The breath knocks out of him. He scrambles his mind for anything – anyone – else Hide had mentioned, reeling his memories back beyond this conversation, back to the convenience store and beyond. His mind draws a blank. He feels like he’s going to throw up, in the sense of being on a really, really tall rollercoaster, on the verge of tipping over the edge of a deep dive; a mixture of anticipation and fear.

Hide doesn’t say anything. He’s watching Kaneki carefully. He seems scared, too; too scared to even move. He doesn’t even look like he’s breathing.

“You mean… me?” Kaneki squeaks out, questioning. He could be wrong. He could be horribly, horribly wrong.

“You don’t seem… angry,” Hide notes, effectively answering his question.

Kaneki lets out a shaky breath. “This isn’t a joke, right?”

Hide slams a hand on the table, making Kaneki jump in surprise. “I’m fucking terrified over here!” Hide is clearly upset now, sending a stab of guilt through Kaneki’s body. “Do you really think I’d lie about this?”

Kaneki’s face softens. “Hide, I…” his hands fold in front of him. “I’m sorry. I just had to be sure.” His body is wired with a nervous energy that he can’t pinpoint, and he doesn’t know what to do with his hands. “What kind of thoughts have you had about me?”

It’s such a bold question it takes them both by surprise. They both flush, though Kaneki’s sure he’s ten shades darker than Hide. He decides to throw caution to the wind and lets his eyes drink in the sight of Hide shirtless. It’s not as if he’s going to be judged for it now, anyway.

“That’s probably not something we should discuss,” Hide replies, equal measures shy and guarded. “I don’t want to weird you out.” He turns and finally looks at Kaneki again. “You know, you’re being really good about this-”

Kaneki interrupts him with a kiss. It’s plain and short-lived, but he can tell he’s left Hide breathless. It makes him feel kind of smug in a way, and he leans back with a smirk. His smile falls away at Hide’s questioning gaze. He looks so lost and confused; it’s almost child-like.

Kaneki puts his hands up defensively, smiling sheepishly. “Ah, that was… an experiment.”

“I’m a science project, now?” Hide retorts, finding his voice again. He seems less than impressed at the prospect.

“I think…” Kaneki begins, trying to collect his words carefully. He looks Hide in the eyes in an attempt to convey his sincerity. “I think I’ve liked you for a long time… longer than I realized. I was just scared to accept it.” He moves his hands into his lap and looks at the table, feeling overwhelmed by his own emotions. “You’re really the only person who’s made me feel… loved. Wholeheartedly, with no exceptions.” He breaks the serious moment with a small laugh. “Was that corny?” He asks, scratching his face. “I meant it, though.”

Kaneki suddenly feels shy; a complete contrast to his bold questioning beforehand. His body is burning up and this time he knows he can’t blame it on the heat. Now he feels like the doomed moth being drawn to a flame; Hide’s pulling him in closer than ever before and he no longer cares if he gets burned.

He finally looks back up at Hide, who’s remained silent this whole time. He’s staring at Kaneki like a lovesick teenager and it sends a fresh wave of heat to his face.

“I really do love you, you know,” Hide remarks easily, as if he was simply greeting hello. He crawls over to Kaneki and pushes up his bangs in a move that felt overwhelmingly intimate to Kaneki. He’s the first to break their prolonged eye contact and he can feel himself shrink slightly against Hide’s intensity. He suddenly remembers Hide’s state of undress and he feels slightly dizzy at their proximity.

Still, there’s a distant and foreign hunger in him that has yet to be satiated, so he grabs Hide by the arm and pulls him forward into another kiss. It lasts longer this time; he vaguely registers Hide making a small noise of surprise at the back of his throat as he tells himself to relax, and holy shit Hide’s lips are so soft and Hide’s shimmying onto his lap to get closer and Hide is a really good kisser, wow. Not that Kaneki has much… or any… experience to go by. But he’s enjoying this, he’s enjoying it a lot, and that’s more than enough in his eyes.

Kaneki nearly jumps out of his skin when he feels something wet press against his lips. He doesn’t know what it says about him as a person, but he automatically allows entrance into his mouth, and— Oh, it’s Hide’s tongue. Okay. He’s not really sure what to do; he’s utterly inexperienced and way out of his depth, so he decides to let Hide do what he likes. As if sensing this, Hide pulls away. Kaneki almost protests at the loss of contact, but it does give him a moment to breathe.

Hide loops his arms around Kaneki’s neck. The muscles in his arms shift subtly under his skin and Kaneki gulps. How could something so simple make him feel so flustered?

“Just follow after me, okay?” Hide says, looking down reassuringly. He wastes no time in dipping his head down again and capturing Kaneki’s mouth with his. The tongue is back again, and Kaneki opens up willingly. A shiver runs down his spine and butterflies whip up a frenzy in his chest as Hide’s tongue sweeps along his. He feels like he’s floating so he grabs a hold of Hide’s sides for leverage. Kaneki allows him to explore his mouth for a bit longer before they pull away to breathe.

Once they’ve regained their breath Kaneki smiles and pulls Hide back down to him, taking the initiative this time and pressing his tongue into Hide’s mouth. He’s sure he’s sloppy and not very good at all, but Hide seems to be enjoying himself if the gentle humming at the back of his throat is anything to go by. A quiet, distant memory gives him the idea to flick his tongue across the roof of Hide’s mouth. He’s not sure if he read about it or heard it mentioned in conversation but he’s fairly sure it’s something that’s meant to feel good? Well, it can’t hurt to try.

Hide makes a noise that resembles a moan and Kaneki breaks away from him in surprise. Heat is radiating through his body and he’s starting to feel a little… worked up. He’s mortified when he realizes this – he’s still slightly caught up in the ‘oh my god this is my best friend I’m doing this to what am I doing?!’ mentality – but he can’t find a way to stop it.

They’re both breathing deeply, and Kaneki sucks in a breath when he realizes how dark Hide’s eyes look; darker than he ever thought possible. He peers down at Kaneki with lidded eyes.

“Who’ve you been kissing?” He asks. “I didn’t think you’d been with anyone.”

“Eh? I… No one,” Kaneki replies, unsure of where Hide had got that idea.

“Huh.” One of Hide’s hands move up to tangle in Kaneki’s hair. “I mean you’re not great but you definitely don’t seem like a beginner, either.”

“…Thank you?” Kaneki says, unsure if that was supposed to be a compliment or an insult. The moment is easily forgotten as he concentrates on the feeling of Hide’s fingers brushing through his hair. It’s nice… comforting. His eyes slide shut and relaxes into the touch. Unexpectedly, Hide leans down to trail kisses along Kaneki’s neck. His head is swimming as he holds onto Hide for dear life, and when Hide kisses just below his ear he can feel his hot breath fan over the area. Kaneki freezes when he can feel his arousal starting to stir.

He’s never felt this way about anyone. Not a single soul. He’s thought about kissing a few girls in his life, but it never felt right and he chalked it up to not having met the girl for him. And maybe that was the problem – there was no girl for him.

He throws those thoughts aside for the moment; there are far more pressing matters to attend to… literally. “Hide,” he breathes, letting go of him and gently pushing him away.

Hide begrudgingly climbs off of him. “You wanna stop?” He asks, slightly disappointed.

“I- I just need… a second…” Kaneki chokes out, crossing his arms across his lap unthinkingly.

Hide’s gaze flickers for the briefest of moments, but it’s enough, and Kaneki thinks he would rather shrivel up and die on the spot right this moment than be subjected to this level of mortification. Kaneki eyes Hide warily as he watches the other’s face split into the biggest grin he’s possibly ever seen. Hide’s hand brushes against his thigh and Kaneki may as well have jumped clean through the roof right into his neighbour’s apartment for the startled reaction he gives.

“Have I got you worked up?” Hide asks; his voice is lower and huskier than he’s ever heard it. He leans forward and grabs Kaneki’s ass and a lump lodges in his throat as he scrambles for an idea as to how to proceed. Because he wants this, he definitely wants what he thinks Hide is suggesting, but it feels like it’s all happening so quickly. Occupied by these thoughts, Kaneki fails to notice the hands slipping under his shirt. One hand trails up his spine, eliciting another shiver from Kaneki, and the other trails up his torso, across a nipple—

Dammit. Hide knows exactly what he’s doing. It makes him want to seek revenge for getting him so flustered. The thought flickers an idea in Kaneki’s mind, and sure enough when he steals a glance at Hide’s crotch, he’s sure he can see a bulge, too.

Good.

He reaches out and palms Hide through his sweatpants. Kaneki feels faint, disbelieving almost that any of this is happening, that he can feel Hide’s dick in his hand, but it is happening and he gets just the reaction he was hoping for.

“Fuck!” Hide shouts, but he doesn’t move away or ask Kaneki to stop. “Ken, I really- I want to-” Hide is breathless, and Kaneki isn’t sure what exactly Hide’s trying convey, so he decides to do his own thing and slips his hand past the waistband and strokes Hide over his underwear. Hide moans and collapses into Kaneki’s shoulder, which he finds amusing for all of two seconds until he feels a hand on his own dick.

“Hide-!”

“You’re not the only one who can play dirty,” he mutters darkly against the crook of his neck. Kaneki’s shorts are made of far thinner material too, so he can more or less feel every crevice of Hide’s hand. “And I’m,” he takes a breath, “really not happy with the clothing situation.” He pulls Kaneki’s hand out of his pants, as much as the loss of contact seems to pain him, and he pulls Kaneki’s shirt over his head. Hide grins. “That’s better.”

It seemed like a good idea at the time, so he didn't protest, but now Kaneki feels as if he’s being laid bare in front of Hide and he can’t help himself from crossing his arms over his chest as if to preserve his own modesty. Next to Hide, he feels all gangly and awkward and soft.

Hide’s touch across his arms is feather light to match his quiet laughter. “You’re getting self-conscious when we were touching each other’s junk ten seconds ago?”

Kaneki relaxes. Hide does have a point. He reluctantly brings his arms out from himself and rests them on Hide’s sides, nudging him forward until he’s able to wrap them fully around Hide’s waist. He’s back on Kaneki’s lap now, and they come to a stalemate as neither knows how or where to continue.

“We could kiss again,” Hide suggests as if reading Kaneki’s thoughts. Kaneki nods, and so Hide dips forward and tangles his hands up in Kaneki’s hair again. It’s a nice feeling for both parties. When Hide’s tongue slips into his mouth, Kaneki feels a little more prepared and is able to offer something in return. He figures he must be doing an okay job because he can feel Hide grin against his mouth.

The heavy atmosphere returns; both of their bodies are radiating heat and Kaneki’s mind is swimming again, unable to form a solid grasp on any particular thought other than how nice it feels to kiss Hide. He feels one hand leaving his hair but it hardly registers until he’s shocked back into the moment when Hide shifts and a hand slips past the waistband of his shorts to stroke him over his underwear. He moans in both surprise and pleasure against Hide’s mouth and Hide pulls away, looking down at him with an evil grin.

“You look so helpless,” Hide coos which causes Kaneki’s expression to sour. He doesn’t feel as if Hide is goading him, but a quiet voice in the back of his mind tells him that he should prove him wrong regardless. So he does.

They’re both surprised when, in one fluid movement, Kaneki kicks out from underneath Hide and pushes him down onto his back. Kaneki trails a hand over Hide’s chest. “I could say the same about you,” he replies tauntingly. Hide’s eyes are wide with surprise still, but Kaneki is aware of the way his friend is drinking in every movement he makes. A thought crashes into him: does Hide enjoy him taking charge? He looks down at Hide uncertainly.

“Take off the sweats,” Kaneki commands, deciding to experiment with his theory. Hide gulps visibly and audibly but silently does as he’s told. Kaneki struggles to breathe. He’s hovering over a nearly naked Hide, who’s doing nothing except blinking up expectantly at him, waiting for his next move or for further instruction. Kaneki stares back, completely flummoxed. When he realizes Kaneki has no idea what he’s doing, Hide takes the initiative and grabs hold of Kaneki’s hips and grinds up against him. Hide allows a strained moan to escape his lips and Kaneki falls forward, planting his hands either side of Hide’s head. Kaneki’s hips drop down and Hide’s eyes close as he focuses on the desire pooling inside of him; dragging him down until his limbs feel like dead weight.

Hide’s hands slip over to grab Kaneki’s ass and he buries his face in his neck in an attempt to stifle his lewd moans.

“Fuck, Ken, I’m really turned on,” he breathes into Kaneki’s neck before starting to bite and suck and a particular spot.

“Y-Yeah,” Kaneki responds breathily, with any former sense of eloquence thrown to the wind. A couple of seconds later he pushes Hide away and sits up. “W-We should…” he begins, ducking his chin against shoulder shyly. “Move somewhere more comfortable, probably…”

Hide raises his eyebrows, disbelieving that things had already got this far, and were probably about to go further. To think he was worried Kaneki would hate him! He could never have expected this.

Kaneki climbs off of him and stands before offering Hide a hand. He takes it and allows Kaneki to help pull him upright, and they clamour over the short distance to the bed and sit on the edge. They remain that way for a few moments before Hide reaches out and touches Kaneki’s inner thigh. He decides to be bold and get this show on the road, and slips his hand up underneath his shorts and underwear and wraps his hand around Kaneki’s cock. Hide swallows thickly and Kaneki jumps.

Hide finds it a bit strange and alien to be touching a dick that isn’t his own, but he isn’t complaining. He’s wanted this for a long time, after all.

He splays his fingers out along the shaft and reaches down to rub this thumb over the head. He grins to himself at the sound of Kaneki’s panting, and he takes his silence to mean ‘please continue’.

“This’d be a lot easier without your shorts, you know,” Hide comments. Kaneki seems unsure and so Hide pulls his hand away, stifling a laugh at the needy sound Kaneki makes in the back of his throat at the loss of stimulation. Hide pushes at Kaneki’s shoulders until he’s laying back on his bed, and Hide stands up in front of him and grabs the waistband of his shorts. He hesitates, waiting for Kaneki to protest but all he receives is a sharp nod and a loud, nervous exhale of breath. He decides to get it all out of the way and takes off Kaneki’s underwear with them, and when his cock springs up, Hide feels a clench in his stomach. The sight of Kaneki laid out before him, completely naked, makes his head sway but his body feel ultra-charged. He drinks in the image in front of him, committing it all to memory before Kaneki shoots upright, crying out in protest.

Hide is about to reassure him when Kaneki’s face hardens and he pulls down Hide’s boxers roughly. Hide’s mouth pops open in surprise as he feels himself spring free too, and turns to stone when he realizes his dick is mere centimetres from Kaneki’s lips…

Nothing could have prepared him for Kaneki closing the gap with no trace of hesitation and taking him into his mouth. It was wet and hot and Hide groans, shuddering from head to toe. His fingers slide through Kaneki’s hair, but he uses every ounce of his self-restraint not to jerk his hips forward nor push Kaneki's head down. He inhales deeply through his nose and glances upwards, staring at the ceiling.

“D-Don’t do anything you don’t want to do, Ken.”

Kaneki’s wordless response is grab hold of the base of his penis and start stroking. Hide twitches on instinct but manages to steady himself just in time. A part of him wants to look down and watch as he feels Kaneki’s tongue spread out underneath the shaft, bringing him deeper into his mouth.

He feels partially ashamed, though, to be doing something so lewd with his best friend. He promptly pushes the feeling aside, though; after all, what’s there to be ashamed of? Neither of them are being forced into anything – they’re both consenting adults. They can do whatever the hell they want!

With this thought in mind, Hide finally allows himself to look down, and he struggles to draw in a breath at the sight below. He breathes out a quiet ‘Fuck,’ because holy shit was this the hottest thing he’d ever seen. He’ll never need to watch porn again, of this he’s certain.

Hide jerks and yelps when he feels his dick drag against Kaneki’s teeth.

“Hey, m-mind the teeth, man…” He warns weakly.

Kaneki blinks and makes a sound at the back of his throat that kind of sounds like an ‘Oh,’ and the vibrations drive Hide wild, forcing his eyes shut and his head to roll back.

Hide wouldn’t say this was the best head he’s ever gotten – at least, not when going on technical ability – but it’s not the worst, either. The teeth thing seems to be a reoccurring theme every time he lets someone’s inexperienced mouth near his junk, so he won’t hold it against Kaneki. Still, he tells Kaneki to stop and pushes him away. His dick slides out of his mouth with a quiet pop and he has to restrain himself from making a noise of dissatisfaction at the loss of Kaneki’s hot, attentive mouth.

Hide breathes. “I was getting close,” he reveals, moving onto his knees. “I want to make this last a bit longer…” He pauses and grins up at Kaneki, moving his hand forward to trail a lone finger across the length of his dick. “Besides, I think you deserve some attention, too.”

“Hide…” Kaneki whispers, his hands curling into fists either side of him, grabbing onto the bedsheets for dear life. “I-”

Hide is leaning forward, ready to take him into his mouth, when he hesitates. He looks up at Kaneki, his eyes silently questioning him.

“I’d rather…” Kaneki begins, blushing so deeply he feels as if his face may very well be melting off the bone. He bites the inside of his cheek. “You know…”

Hide cocks his head to the side. He leans back to stare at Kaneki, because for once he’s not deliberately playing dumb – he has no idea what Kaneki wants.

Kaneki gulps.

“Um,” he stammers. This is ridiculous! They’re both stark naked on a stormy night with no electricity, the entire damn place is lit with candles like something out of a poorly written romance novel, and he can’t just say he wants to put his dick in Hide’s ass?!

“Sex…?” He offers weakly. It’s the best he can come out with on account of wishing the ground would just swallow him whole.

“Huh…? O-Oh… Oh!” Hide’s expression morphs from confusion to realization and Kaneki almost wants to laugh at his comical reaction. “You mean you want to…”

Kaneki nods stiffly.

Hide deflates. “Won’t it… hurt?” He asks, feeling a little vulnerable. He’d rather this be a pleasurable experience, after all.

“W-Well, not if we prepare,” Kaneki squeaks out.

Hide feels a fresh wave of desire crash through him and he’s already crawling onto the bed before Kaneki can say another word.

“You’re okay with this…?” Kaneki affirms.

Hide’s leaning up against the headboard and he’s taken to clutching one of Kaneki’s pillows in front of him. He nods.

Kaneki leans over to his dresser and rummages through the bottom drawer for a few moments when his hands land on just what he needs. He brings the lube and a condom out, and Hide raises a questioning eyebrow.

“What?” Kaneki barks defensively. “It’s always best to be prepared, isn’t it…?”

Hide waves a dismissive hand, “I’m just teasing you, man. Carry on.”

Kaneki kicks the drawer shut with a bit of annoyance; no matter what the circumstances, it seems Hide always has a way to make him feel flustered. He crawls back onto the bed and flips open the cap when a wicked idea comes to him.

“Here,” Kaneki says, handing him the bottle. “You’ll feel more at ease if you do it yourself, right?”

It’s partially the truth. He is hoping that doing things this way will get Hide to relax more. On the other hand, the thought of Hide finger-fucking himself – preparing himself for Kaneki – is sending his mind into overdrive.

Hide lets out a deep sigh and accepts the bottle. He suddenly seems very shy, and Kaneki hides his smile behind his hand. Hide really is adorable.

His thoughts veer into far dirtier territory as Hide reluctantly puts the pillow aside; he slides down slightly and spreads his legs before coating his fingers in lubricant. He reaches down and toys with his asshole for a few moments before pushing his middle finger inside. He winces slightly; it’s barely painful, just weird. He pushes his finger in deeper and that’s when he notices Kaneki stroking himself. His expression is dark and lusty; the complete opposite of his usually innocent expression, and it gives Hide the extra motivation to throw himself into this.

He uses his free hand to start stroking himself too, and after a minute or so of adjusting to the lone finger in his ass, he brings it out and eases it back in, accompanying it this time with his index finger. He hisses lowly at the pain, stilling his movements until he feels ready to start wiggling around again.

Hide has to admit that, even with the pain, this whole scenario is super hot. He can feel his desire reaching new heights and he pulls his fingers out with a little breathy sigh to reapply lube when Kaneki reaches over to grab his ankle. His expression is dark and serious, but rather than cause concern for Hide, he’s certain he feels his dick twitch in anticipation.

“Turn around,” Kaneki orders lowly, and Hide’s confused for a moment before he falls into a slight panic. Kaneki senses this. “Don’t worry, trust me.”

Hide nods dumbly and does as he’s told. His face is burning as he gets on all fours, and he feels Kaneki’s hand at the small of his back, pushing him down. He lowers himself slightly and waits. He hears the cap pop open and the tenseness in his muscles ease considerably, now the idea of Kaneki accidentally ripping him in half due to lack of preparation is put out of his mind. He feels a slight panic stir within him again as he feels Kaneki shimmy forward, though, but relaxes once more when he feels a lone finger work its way into his ass, and shivers when Kaneki slides his dick against his, causing friction across his balls.

“Shit,” Hide curses between clenched teeth. “Keep… Keep doing that.”

Kaneki gladly complies. He arches over Hide, using one hand to stretch him open and the other to hold their cocks together as he rocks his hips against his hand. Every few strokes he lets go of his own dick, making sure to pay attention to the rest of Hide’s length which is getting somewhat neglected. He swipes this thumb over the leaking head and pushes a second finger into him. Hide makes minimal sounds of complaint, so Kaneki doesn’t hesitate before pushing in right up to his knuckles and pulling his fingers apart, stretching Hide’s entrance. Surprisingly, Hide arches his back into him and lets out a low moan of pleasure.

He doubts Hide is close, but nevertheless he ceases his ministrations and instead concentrates on stretching him open.

“I’m going to put a third finger in, okay?” Kaneki says, and he’s somewhat surprised at himself for being able to be so level headed in this situation. He's horny as all hell and desperate for release, but he supposes he’s able to keep himself in check because he knows the end result will be worth it, and because he could never forgive himself if he accidentally hurts Hide.

Kaneki lubricates his fingers again for good measure, and he gulps at the sight of the excess dripping down Hide’s thigh. He returns with two fingers first, but shortly inserts a third and he can feel Hide tense up underneath him. Kaneki remains motionless and waits for Hide to give him direction. After a minute or so, Hide whispers for him to continue, and a few minutes after that, he gives Kaneki the news he’s been waiting for.

“O-Okay,” his voice rasps, “I think I’m ready.”

Kaneki nods, though Hide can’t see him. He taps at his hip and Hide rolls over back into his original position.

“Which position would be most comfortable?” Kaneki inquires, and he can feel his shyness return. Hide laughs and grabs his face, pulling him into a simple, but passionate kiss.

“You’re worrying so much about me, I wonder if you’re having any fun!” Hide says, smiling put also seeming genuinely concerned that all this was unfairly one-sided. Kaneki feels the butterflies roaring to life once more as they flutter through his chest.

“I am,” he replies with the most conviction he’s ever felt in his life. Hide nods resolutely and spreads his legs open.

“Like this, so I can look at you.”

Kaneki melts at the affection in Hide’s voice, and he takes a moment to look at him, and commit this moment to memory. His hair glows ever so slightly, almost like a flame of its own, and he makes Kaneki feel as if his entire body is on fire. He distantly remembers something about Greek mythology: about flying too close to the sun and having your wings burn as punishment. He looks back down at Hide and thinks it’s a small price to pay.

Readying the condom, he rolls it over his length and applies the appropriate amount on lubricant. He then moves in and helps Hide hook his knees over Kaneki’s shoulders. After they exchange a brief glance, Kaneki presses into him and doesn’t bother trying to hide the deep, guttural moan that rips from his throat. The stimulation, Hide’s tightness, is driving him crazy but he exerts enough self-control to stay still as Hide adjusts to him.

He can tell Hide is in pain so he returns a hand to Hide’s cock, stroking him in the hopes that it will somehow makes the pain easier to bear. Hide moans quietly and Kaneki lets out a breath he hadn’t realized he had been holding. Hide brings up an arm and rests it over his eyes, his breath as equally laboured as Kaneki’s now.

“Are you okay?” Kaneki asks.

Hide peeks out from underneath his arm and offers him a smile.

“What did I just say about worrying too much?”

“I don’t want to hurt you!” Kaneki protests defensively. “It should feel good for both of us, right?”

Hide nods. “It’ll feel good… Just need to-”

“I know,” Kaneki responds.

The wait is killing Kaneki, and relief flows through him when Hide flashes him a thumb’s up.

Kaneki pulls out of him, whimpering in delight before pushing slowly back into him. He takes the pace slow for a few minutes, but eventually even Hide seems a bit impatient and starts meeting his movements halfway by pushing down onto him. Kaneki takes the hint and grabs hold of Hide’s hips and pushes into him as far as he can go and Hide yelps, his whole body jerking. Kaneki freezes, thinking he’s hurt him, but Hide fixes him with a frenzied stare.

“Do that again,” he urges, placing his hands over Kaneki’s. “Please…”

Hide blushes at being so easily submissive, at how easy Kaneki is able to make him beg, and Kaneki finds the unusually shy look on Hide’s face to be wildly attractive.

Kaneki increases the pace, though he can’t seem to hit the right angle, the right spot to give Hide that hit of intense pleasure. His hands slide out from underneath Hide’s, from his hips to under his ass and he pulls him slightly upward to a better angle. When he slides back into him again, Hide jolts familiarly and moans out a hot, sinful ‘Yes.’

“Ken, keep going,” Hide breathes desperately. His expression is foggy, and Kaneki wonders is Hide is close to release. Caring more about Hide’s orgasm than his own, he lifts one hand to start stroking Hide’s cock again. Hide’s eyes fly wide open, his mouth gaping open at the overload of pleasure.

Kaneki can feel his own release building, but before he can get there Hide cries out his name and spills all over his stomach and Kaneki’s hand. He slumps back onto Kaneki’s bed, sweating and breathing heavily, and Kaneki pauses the rocking of his hips, ready to pull out.

Hide shakes his head. “No, keep going. I’ll ride it out.”

He doesn’t need any further encouragement and returns to fucking Hide’s asshole. Though he’s adjusted to Kaneki’s dick now, he still feels sinfully tight around him and Kaneki begins to shake as he can feel his own orgasm approaching, ready to tear through him like a freight train.

When he eventually releases, he grabs onto Hide’s thighs for leverage as he presses deeply into him. After a few moments he pulls out of Hide and slumps down in the narrow space between him and the wall, sweaty and breathless and his energy completely spent.

He notices that he can’t hear the rain anymore.

Hide hooks an arm around Kaneki’s shoulders and pulls him in, their bodies pressing together intimately. He kisses the top of Kaneki’s head in a surprisingly gentle display of affection and Kaneki hides his face in Hide’s shoulder in embarrassment.

“What was that for?” He asks. Hide laughs.

“Because I love you, obviously.”

Kaneki’s heart does a somersault in his chest. (Not literally, that would be cause for concern, but it sure feels like it.)

“I… love you, too,” he stutters, the words feeling unfamiliar but not unwelcome in his mouth. He steals a glance up towards Hide and feels a different kind of warmth radiate inside of him at the sight of Hide’s genuine, blissful grin.

A moment later they’re both left reeling when the lights flicker back to life and it takes a couple of moments for their eyes to adjust.

Hide blinks in surprise, surveying the scene around him – of their clothes tossed haphazardly around the place – and lets out a bark of laughter.

“Did us fucking bring back Tokyo’s electricity?”

Kaneki’s laughter is light, feeling relief flood through him as he realizes that this new chapter in their lives won’t change their friendship at all.

“Hide, I hardly think we’re the heroes of this story,” Kaneki comments doubtfully. He sits up with a slight grimace. “We should… probably clean ourselves up, shouldn’t we?”

Hide has different ideas, though.

“Please, Ken. That can wait. I’m starving!” He gets up and walks towards the fridge, and Kaneki’s lost in the moment, his eyes transfixed on Hide’s bare ass. Hide turns around, as if sensing his stare, and pouts. “Hey, I’m not a piece of meat, you know.”

Kaneki laughs again and rolls onto his side. “You weren’t complaining a few minutes ago.”

Hide flushes. “Keep talking and I won’t be cooking you dinner!”

Kaneki leans into his hand, hiding his smile at the thought of Hide sounding like a put upon housewife. Were they already arguing like a married couple?

**Author's Note:**

> i am sooooo sorry - i didn't want to say this at the top lest i put people off, but i have never ever written porn before and if it was bad, i am TRULY sorry! i just slapped my face against the keyboard and hoped for the best _(:3」∠)_  
> also, i deliberately kept this kinda vague in terms of where it fits into canon. like, is this before kaneki meets rize? au where ghouls don't exist? whatever floats your boat!!!
> 
> anyway, i haven't written in so long so i hope it wasn't too painful to read lol... i'm probably super rusty at this point. @_@ please let me know if i made any mistakes and i'll go back and edit it! 
> 
> well i'll shut up now but i hope someone out there enjoys this ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> EDIT: oh my god, thank you all so much for the comments/kudos/bookmarks! (*´д｀*) i never could've expected it to be received this well! i'm pretty emotional about this ಥ~ಥ


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